The problem with dancing

I had a conversation earlier this week with a friend, who agreed with another friend, who had said to the first friend that I really needed to dance.

What my friends are trying to say to me is that I need the release that dancing represents. Throwing caution to the wind and waving your limbs about is one of the more liberating things it's possible to do. I actually do this more than they realise, but I think they mean I should do it in company.

They have a point. I'm not someone who easily 'lets go' and stops thinking. Of course, professional dancers are thinking a lot as they move, but for the average person dancing is stress-free fun.

Or it should be. I actually love going dancing, but I do it very rarely for two reasons that get in the way of enjoying it.

First of all, the music is so LOUD that it's distorted. It's impossible to have a conversation with any of the other people you're supposed to be having fun with. Come to think of it, the volume in night clubs may provide an explanation for all those appallingly bad pick up lines that haven't died out yet - they work because they're misheard as something good.

This would be bad enough for a normal person, but the fact I have tinnitus means a couple of hours of partying usually translates to several days of reduced hearing. If I'm going to do that, the pay off has to be big.

Which brings me to reason two. The vast majority of the 'music' people apparently expect me to dance to is complete and utter rubbish.

Here's a tip to any budding DJs out there: the mind controls the body (although you wouldn't always know it). If you want to get my body moving, my mind has to like the idea. I like moving to music. One bar of drum machine-dominated noise repeated over and over does not constitute music. If you can manage a four-bar pattern, we may be getting somewhere if I'm in a good mood anyway.

Further to this, for something to be a 'song' there generally has to be several lines that are sung, say, a minimum of 10 words. The only exception to this I've been prepared to allow so far is Elton John's "Song for Guy". Your chances of writing something else good enough to match that are low, especially if you allow for the fact it must also have a catchy beat (I can't dance to "Song for Guy").

I went to a wedding interstate earlier this year where I made a point of praising the DJ because he was able to sense the mood and pick songs that were both popular and decently written. I felt like packing him in my suitcase and bringing him home, like a rare precious jewel.

I look forward to the next day when someone makes me want to dance.

There is beauty in the world

There are times in the last couple of weeks when life has been full of pain and misery. Mostly it hasn't been MY life that's been directly affected, but the lives of those around me. It's still been enough to make me wonder whether negative states of being are the status quo and all that should be expected from life in this day and age.

Then some little thing happens to prove to me that beauty is often just around the corner.

It can be a song. Right now I'm convinced that "Dandelions in Bullet Holes" by Sarah Harmer is one of the most intrinsically beautiful and hopeful songs ever written, as much because of the turns of its melody as for its lyrics.

It can be a party where a group of friends get together, ostensibly to celebrate the engagement of two of their number, but really so they can spend time in each other's company and talk and laugh and not keep one eye on the clock while doing it.

Or it can be leaving the office and stumbling across the most stunning sunset you have seen in several years - clouds etched in brilliant yellow so clearly that you could reach out and run your finger along the edges.

Every time I start to question whether this planet and the human race are such a mess it's beyond hope, God reminds me that nothing is beyond redemption.

The thrill of the new: No. 1

I said this blog was going to be partly about music, so it's about time that it was.

Music is a fundamental part of my life. It's a lot like breathing - if I don't do it for a while, the effect isn't pleasant. "Doing music" can mean listening to it, playing it or writing it (pretty much in that order of frequency, sadly). Each has it's own rewards and frustrations.

Recently I've added writing about it to the list.

I'm not claiming to be a master writer by any means. If you want to see really good writing about music (and sometimes other things), I highly recommend visiting The War Against Silence at http://www.furia.com/twas - although the site is now in a state of semi-retirement, there are 500 columns of a unique personal viewpoint to sift through. I've only read about 20 or so at this point and I loved them all.

To me, one of the most extraordinary things about music is the sensation of hearing something for the very first time (assuming the music is any good, that is). For that one listen, you have no reference points, no favourite moments to anticipate. There can be genuine moments of surprise.

Or, of course, it can all be horribly boring and predictable, but I try to filter out those possibilities by listening to singles on the radio and judicious sampling of albums in 30-second snippets before purchasing.

I try very hard to make sure that I am in a situation where I can listen to a new CD properly, rather than having it in the background or interrupted all the time. I find it fundamentally wrong to treat music with that kind of disrespect.

The latest disc to enter my world was a largely unexpected gift from an American friend. It makes it even more exciting to think I might be one of the first people in my country to hear Rachael Yamagata (her debut album is called "Happenstance"), because:

1. As far as I know the album has only been released in America, and
2. This is a damn good album!

RY has a voice that is very reminiscent of Fiona Apple, and perhaps with hints of Norah Jones in there as well. More importantly she has songwriting skills that strike me as well above average. I would rate "Happenstance" as clearly superior to Fiona Apple's debut in that respect, and roughly on a par with Fiona's second album. Of course, the mere fact that I think Fiona's second was better than her first is going to have a portion of you shaking your heads already...

I cannot find a weak song on Happenstance. My only slight disappointment is that the single was clearly designed to BE a single and isn't representative of the sound of the rest of the album, but it's still a good song on its own terms. I'm having great difficulty identifying favourite tracks, which from past experience is an excellent indication that I'm going to continue enjoying this CD for many years to come.

The phase that comes after the first listen is the "getting to know you" part. Exploring and understanding a little more of what attracted me in the first place. Maybe a little mystery is lost along the way, but there are new pleasures as well.

If this sounds like I'm describing dating, there's probably a good reason for that. I think the processes are not dissimilar. So, as of last weekend, Rachael and I are dating I guess. To go with that analogy, I think I can already here wedding bells. I want to hold on to this one...

...although I'm quite sure her giving in to the hidden track phenomenon WILL continue to annoy me.

I've been read

Dear Anonymous,

Just came in here to do some posting for the first time in a week, thought I'd remind myself what it all looked like, and stopped dead in my tracks.

One of the "0 Comments" had changed to a 1.

Somehow this small fact has changed my day for the better. So thank you.

Regards,

orfeo

Dead stop

No no, not to the blog, not to the blog!!

To my life in general I mean. It's amazing how some incident can derail your plans and enforce a time of stillness and inactivity. My 'incident' involved a four wheel drive heading straight for me.

Thankfully I was inside my car at the time. However, having a critically ill car causes a significant amount of disruption to one's plans in this day and age. Not nearly as much disruption as if I was the critically ill one, I admit, but it's still something of a surprise to discover that something you took for granted (freedom of movement) has been taken away.

I've cancelled meetings, both business and pleasure, because of the difficulties of getting anywhere. I've postponed spending decisions until I know whether the insurance company is going to take my vehicle off life support. I've been self-consciously checking how I feel to make sure the blow to my head hasn't done any more damage than I originally thought.

And I've replayed the moment over and over in my head to work out whether it was my fault, just a little, or whether I'm entirely the victim of something I had no control over. It's important to know who to blame even if you don't plan on taking it out on them...

The future seems to be on hold while I deal with everything those few seconds have thrown in my path.

Luddite pt.2

There are people in here who have done their first ever post in the last 10 minutes, who already have a customised layout. For example, a picture at the top. There was a really nice sunset on one.

Maybe my lack of gimmicks can be my gimmick?...

Not human

One of the side-effects of my current job is seeing a lot of clippings from the newspapers. It suits me just fine, as I've always been an avid follower of current affairs.

It's a bit depressing, however. There is a never-ending stream of material in these clippings about either 'crime' or 'security/terrorism' that completely eclipses all the other categories combined, in terms of volume.

One of the editorial pieces today was about terrorism. It mentioned all the latest horrors - holding children hostage in Beslan, decapitations in Iraq. Part of the argument was that it was useless trying to understand the motives of terrorists capable of these atrocities, because they were "not human".

What a tragic mistake.

The first step towards being able to do horrible things to another human being, is to regard them as somehow less than you. To regard them as having no value. It is precisely because terrorists see us as less than human that they can pick a random victim among us and wipe them from the face of the earth. I cannot imagine a worse solution than to head down the same path ourselves.

The biggest story in Australia at the moment is the arrest of around 200 men all over the country for child pornography offences - predominantly the viewing of images on the internet.

Several of the accused have committed suicide. One of the more prominently reported arrests was of a man who was director of a company running several child care centres. Bricks have been thrown through the windows of the centres, and there have been reports of people celebrating the suicides.

There are also stories, not for the first time, of people who know they need help to treat their pedophilia but are too terrified of the consequences of admitting their need.

If these men have committed offences - and it seems from the reporting that there is a strong case against most of them - then they should be convicted and punished. But demonising them to the point where they are no longer regarded as human will miss the main point of why police chose to be so public about the arrests in the first place: that the men who committed these crimes were ordinary people from all walks of life.

You see, if they are in fact human and ordinary, we might need to try to understand them, and recognize how little they differ from us.

The lens effect

The mere existence of this blog is causing me to think of things to write in it.

Today it seemed that every time I had a strong emotional response, it was accompanied by a little thought - "I could write about this". In the time I was at work I felt anger, disappointment, frustration, elation (this, I hasten to add, was not the direct result of any of the work I was doing), compassion and love. Those are just the ones I can remember. And each time, it seemed potential fodder for the blog.

I'm vaguely wondering whether this will continue once the novelty value wears off. Maybe there's some time in the future when I will be struggling to find things to write about, because there doesn't seem to be anything new. Instead of trying to restrain myself from writing about every little detail, I might be staring at a blank white box on the screen praying that something worth saying will magically appear there.

Only time will tell.

Meanwhile, I've managed to fill yet another post with thoughts about the process, instead of actual content. That's 4 of my first 5 blog entries that are essentially about blogging. I can't decide if that's terribly clever of me - writing so much while saying so little about myself - or just damn annoying for the reader. You tell me.

I did decide there was one thing to write about today though. Next post. Or, thanks to the layout, previous post.

Friends I have not met

How is it possible to form a close friendship with someone you have never laid eyes on?

It seems to me a blog is a good place to raise that question. The general idea is that people I have never met, and in the vast majority of cases never will meet, can somehow interact with me by reading my thoughts.

Notice I didn't say "IS it possible...", because I know it is. One of my very closest friends is someone I 'met' on a message board about two years ago. Come to think of it, I think our 'anniversary' is later this month.

Today, we had our second ever phone call. It lasted a bit over two hours and I don't think either of us wanted it to stop. The idea of a closer form of contact than we can usually achieve, with only about a second's delay between responses, was so precious.

It also made me crave the idea of actually standing in the same room as each other even more strongly than usual. No trans-Pacific time zone shift to deal with, no sitting and waiting while the other person types something (even though she's a pretty fast typist and I'm no slouch either). Just immediacy. A person right there.

And touch. I'm quite sure that when we finally meet there is going to be one seriously long hug.

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, she's very happily married to a husband I have also 'met' who is a really great guy. This is no 'internet romance' we're talking about, just an incredibly deep and fulfilling friendship. With someone I got to know purely through the written word.

Amazing, isn't it? Neither of us really understands quite how it happened. Shared interests partly, shared humour certainly, but also similarities in our thinking that can't be easily defined. And I suppose a fondness for each other's writing styles?

It's scary to think that if I didn't use the English language the way I do, with my own idiosyncratic vocabulary and turns of phrase, I might not have attracted the attention of someone who has become one of the greatest treasures in my life. If I hadn't made THAT post to THAT messageboard, the outcome would have been different. Wouldn't it?

That's all speculation. I'm eternally thankful for the path that I have in fact travelled, because our paths crossed.

Luddite

It took about 3 minutes of looking at other blogs to reduce me to a panic.

There's links and 'scribble spaces' and bits and pieces scattered all over the page, whereas here I am just typing fairly boring text. Except I HAVE figured out how to do the occasional fancy thing.

Um, I have no idea what I actually started with for the font now, I sure hope it defaults back for the next post...

I need to go have a lie down.

Plus the rugby league grand final is on very soon.

Darn, all this just because I decided to try and say hi to another Australian guy who was listed as a Tori Amos fan! On the plus side, this may just have been the original font!

*Wanders off in a state of vague unease regarding all the things he DOESN'T know about blogging yet*

Very clever, I don't think

Well, I've managed to struggle through a few settings now. I was ready to come back here really annoyed because as soon as I found the time zone setting and fixed it, my first post was suddenly being done tomorrow morning.

Then I discovered I could actually edit existing posts. *tries not to look embarrassed*

Still slightly annoyed by a couple of things. Firstly, that everything assumes I'm in America. How is it that one country manages to own almost the entire internet? Even the fact that American websites always end in ".com", never ".com.us" or something. Everybody else has to specify the country, but America is apparently the centre of the known universe.

Don't even get me started on the 'World Series'...

The other annoying thing was my birthday. I put in the day and month (sorry, that was in fact month and day, seeing that is how Americans do it), went and viewed my profile expecting that everyone would be able to wish me a happy birthday, and what does it show? My star sign!!

I will not be having any truck with star signs in this blog, thank you very much. If you want to wish me a happy birthday, you can do it in late January. But if anyone starts expressing their views on whether or not I am a typical Aquarian, they'll be out on their ear before they can say "it's amazing how accurate astrology is sometimes..."

Of course, there's that time when someone asked me my star sign, I said "I don't believe in that kind of thing", and she looked at me thoughtfully and said "you're an Aquarian, aren't you". Not a question, a statement. That one kind of threw me.

It occurred to me once that the star sign notions may have developed out of some observations about people born in certain seasons. That actually might make some sense - that being born at certain times of year might somehow exert an influence on one's behaviour. Of course, that would only work for the Northern Hemisphere - here in Australia we should all be back to front. Who knows, maybe we are!

Okay, that's enough rambling for one post. I see I've gone from computer settings to debating whether a hot sunny week or two might have changed the course of my entire existence.

So there is where I start, is it?

I had no intention of creating a blog 10 minutes ago...

I suppose the something that stirred in me when I happened to follow a link to someone else's blog was the desire to be a special, no unique individual making my mark on the world. Just like millions of other people who have one of these things. Hmmm...

Or maybe it's just that I'm in 'let's catch up on all that technology' mode. After all, it's only two days since I bought my first mobile phone. Yes, my FIRST! I don't know what's stunning people more, the fact that I held out this long or the fact that, having held out for so long, I suddenly succumbed.

Blame it on my sister for finding the ideal phone deal for someone who wants to use it as little as possible. If I don't make any calls at all it will only cost $20 per year. Initial outlay was only $69. Pretty good for the occasional moment when it will be convenient. Of course, I'm quite sure there are a lot of people out there who thought they were only going to use their phone for emergencies who are completely addicted to the thing now and can't imagine living without it.

Um, what am I going to actually use this blog for?

I suspect there will be certain subjects that crop up rather often. Music for one. Completely obsessed with it. I have spent even more time than usual listening to music in the last week, week-and-a-half, and it's made me really happy. So I intend continuing with it.

Politics, religion and philosophy are all likely to crop up fairly frequently. Most likely the discussion of politics will involve complaining how there's no philosophy involved in it. Wait, maybe I mean there's no principle...

Relationships (or lack thereof) may well feature. Not in the sense of pouring out my private life, but in the general sense of trying to work out what makes them tick. I firmly believe that relationships are THE most significant aspect of our lives - we were created for them.

Still interested? Then read on...

...when there's something else to read, of course.

PS Is there any way I can add smileys to this thing? *Trudges off to read all the settings and stuff he's bypassed so far*